it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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