the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
