So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
