I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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