There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
