Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
