yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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