I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
