No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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