just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
