I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
