come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
