Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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