dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Randomize
