I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
