CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
