I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize