She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
