I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
