you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize