According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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