I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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