he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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