The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
