Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
