her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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