i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
