i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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