I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
