It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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