So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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