Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
