i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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