We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
