I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
