I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
be right there i have to get my cape
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
