If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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