I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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