I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
