I am puke
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
