I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize