He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Be still, my beating vagina.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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