Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
