I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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