apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I still have a little drunk in my system
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
