I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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