Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
