Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Acid is not a monday night drug
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
