yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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