My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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