Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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