Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
