It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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