just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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