Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
