that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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