Your dad touched me again.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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